Thursday, December 30, 2010

Gaia Artwork 12/30/10

These were actually yesterday. But I'm posting them today since I forgot to yesterday.
I thought I needed to post some drawings for you lovely people. Instead of my whining and personal stuff.
Anyways, these are yet again some Gaia Artwork I did for people on Gaiaonline. I like how two of them turned out. The third one, I don't like as much.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Lost It

Continuing on with the "Have You Ever..." series.

I'm not even sure you can call it a series. But I could make it one... Hmmm.... Contemplating....contemplating....Ok. I think I will.

Anyways, continuing on with the question.... Have you ever lost it? Now when I mean lost it, I mean gotten so angry at someone you've just exploded in a fit of rage. Throwing words at them even though you might not have meant it? Well, this evening that exact thing happened to me. Though, I might have meant every word. It's nice to have a blog to openly share my thoughts and what goes on with me because I don't want to worry my friends or family what's truly wrong with me. Know what I mean? It's like, you fake smile even though you're hurting inside. Just so they won't worry about you?

I love my friends and family. They've done so much for me, I don't want them to worry. They've gone through so much for me.

Friday, December 24, 2010

I want to talk, but you don't.

I'm sorry you have to listen to my silly rants and thoughts, but it is my blog. You don't have to read if you don't want. This is yet another one of my thoughts post. Sorry. Kind of like my last post. Another have you ever...

Have you ever texted or IMed someone and wanted to really talk to them at that moment but they don't want to? Of course we probably all have. I had this happen to me the other night. I wanted to talk to one of my male friends but he was waiting for someone else to sign online. So I told him that usual saying, "Well you seem busy, I'll talk to you at a different time."
After saying that you really hope they'll be like, "No No, it's ok." or "You don't have to go." Something that comes from them saying they want you to continue conversation with them but of course, they just say "Alright" or "Ok" and it really annoys you. You want to say something but you feel now that you said you were going to go, you can't say anything more to them.

That kind of situation really annoys me. So now I look at them different. Like they aren't someone who really cares talking to me.

Sorry, I was just feeling a little sad about this. But I've recovered fast. Thanks to other friends of course.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Have You Ever...

...Had one of those days.
Those days where you've just recently been feeling horrible, looking down upon yourself all the time? You're to say....Depressed? And there's a day that comes along out of the blue, where you do something for part of the day, like friends steal you to hang out. Afterwards you felt you just had the best day over and you're rethinking about everything you've been doing, thinking about, etc. You want to change yourself. To become a better, newer you?

Well folks, I just had one of those days. It started like any other lately. I woke up and hung around the house most the day. Watching Phineas and Ferb on Disney Channel, playing my hunter on World of Warcraft, and falling asleep on the couch until who knows when. Well, in the middle of it all, later towards the evening, my cousin calls me up. She asks to use my tennis racket like she usually does, but when she shows up, she kidnaps me along with the rackets. We get to the tennis courts to play around a bit, waiting for someone else by the name Stephie? Or Stephen I later found out. He had more rackets. When he arrived, it was a blast. My cousin and Anna, her friend were making fun of how horrible he was at tennis. I felt bad for him but at the same time I just kept laughing. Another person, Matt, came to play with us but left soon after he had come. Tennis really cheered me up so I was really smiling by then. But wait! It's not over.
We head back to my cousin's house. Girls in one car, Stephen in his own. To get money and things to go ice skating. Ice skating in Florida? Absurd I tell you. But definitely possible. Stephen drove all of us down to the rink and we were there for at least an hour and a half. Taking breaks when we were tired, our ankles hurt, or just to reply to a text.
There were times where I wondered if something may be wrong with Stephen. Anna was texting most the time while at the rink since she was tired. My cousin and I skated until our legs could fall off. Stephen, my eye would always land on him. Ever since I first saw him at the tennis courts. Something seemed off about him though, he seemed happy, but not fully happy. Has that ever happened to you? Where you encounter someone you've never met before, but could tell something may be wrong? He seemed a bit down in a way, or maybe he was just quiet like me. I wanted to talk to him more but I didn't know what to say and I feared I would say something horribly wrong.

Overall, it was a great evening though. I hope I might see Stephen again, and I can hang out with my cousin more often. I envy her so much. She has so many friends, but she's also like my ideal person I would love to become. I haven't fully noticed this until recently. She's so outgoing, courageous, and can make friends quite easily. She's not shy like I am.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 14: Santa Hat

I was working on another drawing but out of my brain comes this for now. Since my other drawing is currently not done. SORRY!
So here's a holiday related drawing, err....sorta.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 13: Failing Face

Guess what.
I chose a picture on Deviantart to try and redraw, but it came out horribly wrong. If it looked better, I would post the Deviantart picture here with it or at least a link to it, but since it looks pretty much NOTHING like the original picture.... I'm not going to bother posting it.
I really do at least like how the eyes came out. Or the face itself. The face roundness as well as the hair is completely off. I erased all of it and tried to redo it, but it still came out horrible. Hence the FAIL in the bottom right hand corner.

Sorry if your eyes may be bleeding after catching sight of this drawing. I'll try and do better next time.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I owe you all an apology.

I haven't posted on the blog in the past week or two and I owe everyone an apology. I want to say I'm very sorry. I need to get drawing more and posting them here. As well as just my thoughts. I've been going through a bit, but that's not an excuse to not post a drawing. I've been meaning to sign up for college classes and I've been putting it off for some time now. I think I'm just afraid to move on with my life right now. I'm afraid to get out there and meet new people as well. I don't know what they'll think of me. I'm a big scaredy cat. I'm sorry for being one.

I hope everyone shall forgive me for not posting. And I hope I'll be able to start drawing again working on my 365 Day Project. I can't just NOT finish it. I need to finish things I start. Like all those books I've started and haven't finished. Currently at the top of my list is yet another Lilian Jackson Braun book. I would like to finish her "Cat Who" book series at some point. As I think of everything, I'm already coming up with my New Years 'To Do' list. It might end up being lengthy at this rate.

Anyways, with that aside. I hope everyone is going to have a great holiday this month. Anyone have special plans for Christmas or another holiday you may celebrate this time of the year?