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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Gaia Artwork 12/30/10





These were actually yesterday. But I'm posting them today since I forgot to yesterday.
I thought I needed to post some drawings for you lovely people. Instead of my whining and personal stuff.
Anyways, these are yet again some Gaia Artwork I did for people on Gaiaonline. I like how two of them turned out. The third one, I don't like as much.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Lost It

Continuing on with the "Have You Ever..." series.


I'm not even sure you can call it a series. But I could make it one... Hmmm.... Contemplating....contemplating....Ok. I think I will.




Anyways, continuing on with the question.... Have you ever lost it? Now when I mean lost it, I mean gotten so angry at someone you've just exploded in a fit of rage. Throwing words at them even though you might not have meant it? Well, this evening that exact thing happened to me. Though, I might have meant every word. It's nice to have a blog to openly share my thoughts and what goes on with me because I don't want to worry my friends or family what's truly wrong with me. Know what I mean? It's like, you fake smile even though you're hurting inside. Just so they won't worry about you?


I love my friends and family. They've done so much for me, I don't want them to worry. They've gone through so much for me.

Friday, December 24, 2010

I want to talk, but you don't.

I'm sorry you have to listen to my silly rants and thoughts, but it is my blog. You don't have to read if you don't want. This is yet another one of my thoughts post. Sorry. Kind of like my last post. Another have you ever...




Have you ever texted or IMed someone and wanted to really talk to them at that moment but they don't want to? Of course we probably all have. I had this happen to me the other night. I wanted to talk to one of my male friends but he was waiting for someone else to sign online. So I told him that usual saying, "Well you seem busy, I'll talk to you at a different time."
After saying that you really hope they'll be like, "No No, it's ok." or "You don't have to go." Something that comes from them saying they want you to continue conversation with them but of course, they just say "Alright" or "Ok" and it really annoys you. You want to say something but you feel now that you said you were going to go, you can't say anything more to them.


That kind of situation really annoys me. So now I look at them different. Like they aren't someone who really cares talking to me.






Sorry, I was just feeling a little sad about this. But I've recovered fast. Thanks to other friends of course.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Have You Ever...

...Had one of those days.
Those days where you've just recently been feeling horrible, looking down upon yourself all the time? You're to say....Depressed? And there's a day that comes along out of the blue, where you do something for part of the day, like friends steal you to hang out. Afterwards you felt you just had the best day over and you're rethinking about everything you've been doing, thinking about, etc. You want to change yourself. To become a better, newer you?


Well folks, I just had one of those days. It started like any other lately. I woke up and hung around the house most the day. Watching Phineas and Ferb on Disney Channel, playing my hunter on World of Warcraft, and falling asleep on the couch until who knows when. Well, in the middle of it all, later towards the evening, my cousin calls me up. She asks to use my tennis racket like she usually does, but when she shows up, she kidnaps me along with the rackets. We get to the tennis courts to play around a bit, waiting for someone else by the name Stephie? Or Stephen I later found out. He had more rackets. When he arrived, it was a blast. My cousin and Anna, her friend were making fun of how horrible he was at tennis. I felt bad for him but at the same time I just kept laughing. Another person, Matt, came to play with us but left soon after he had come. Tennis really cheered me up so I was really smiling by then. But wait! It's not over.
We head back to my cousin's house. Girls in one car, Stephen in his own. To get money and things to go ice skating. Ice skating in Florida? Absurd I tell you. But definitely possible. Stephen drove all of us down to the rink and we were there for at least an hour and a half. Taking breaks when we were tired, our ankles hurt, or just to reply to a text.
There were times where I wondered if something may be wrong with Stephen. Anna was texting most the time while at the rink since she was tired. My cousin and I skated until our legs could fall off. Stephen, my eye would always land on him. Ever since I first saw him at the tennis courts. Something seemed off about him though, he seemed happy, but not fully happy. Has that ever happened to you? Where you encounter someone you've never met before, but could tell something may be wrong? He seemed a bit down in a way, or maybe he was just quiet like me. I wanted to talk to him more but I didn't know what to say and I feared I would say something horribly wrong.






Overall, it was a great evening though. I hope I might see Stephen again, and I can hang out with my cousin more often. I envy her so much. She has so many friends, but she's also like my ideal person I would love to become. I haven't fully noticed this until recently. She's so outgoing, courageous, and can make friends quite easily. She's not shy like I am.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 14: Santa Hat


I was working on another drawing but out of my brain comes this for now. Since my other drawing is currently not done. SORRY!
So here's a holiday related drawing, err....sorta.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 13: Failing Face


Guess what.
I'm BACK!
I chose a picture on Deviantart to try and redraw, but it came out horribly wrong. If it looked better, I would post the Deviantart picture here with it or at least a link to it, but since it looks pretty much NOTHING like the original picture.... I'm not going to bother posting it.
I really do at least like how the eyes came out. Or the face itself. The face roundness as well as the hair is completely off. I erased all of it and tried to redo it, but it still came out horrible. Hence the FAIL in the bottom right hand corner.

Sorry if your eyes may be bleeding after catching sight of this drawing. I'll try and do better next time.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I owe you all an apology.

I haven't posted on the blog in the past week or two and I owe everyone an apology. I want to say I'm very sorry. I need to get drawing more and posting them here. As well as just my thoughts. I've been going through a bit, but that's not an excuse to not post a drawing. I've been meaning to sign up for college classes and I've been putting it off for some time now. I think I'm just afraid to move on with my life right now. I'm afraid to get out there and meet new people as well. I don't know what they'll think of me. I'm a big scaredy cat. I'm sorry for being one.


I hope everyone shall forgive me for not posting. And I hope I'll be able to start drawing again working on my 365 Day Project. I can't just NOT finish it. I need to finish things I start. Like all those books I've started and haven't finished. Currently at the top of my list is yet another Lilian Jackson Braun book. I would like to finish her "Cat Who" book series at some point. As I think of everything, I'm already coming up with my New Years 'To Do' list. It might end up being lengthy at this rate.






Anyways, with that aside. I hope everyone is going to have a great holiday this month. Anyone have special plans for Christmas or another holiday you may celebrate this time of the year?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

World of Warcraft Cataclysm





My dad showed me this intro video today. He said it appeared when he was trying to get to the login screen of World of Warcraft. I thought it was so cool so I wanted to try and find it on youtube to put on my blog.
I can't wait to see what the game's going to look like when Cataclysm comes out.

Monday, November 22, 2010

365 Postponed!

I'm sorry!




For this week only, I have something I need to do, maybe next week as well, I'm not sure.
But for this week I know for sure I'll have to hold off on the 365 Day Drawing Project.
I'll post the reason later.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Dream: Searching...

Before I forget my dream because of being distracted by TV and or other things, I'm going to write it down of course. I just woke up so I can't forget THAT easily, can I?




What I remember so far is that, the setting took place at my house. There was my parents I know that, then friends started coming over. A friend I felt I had just met came over. I'm not sure how I met her since she was just a friend in my dream, while another friend came over a as well asking if I could hang out. I felt a little guilty and told her another friend was over but she didn't care. I thought this was weird, considering it was one of my best friends Jackie. She came in saying she needed to use my computer which I directed her towards my mother's computer. My other friend which I think her name might have been something like Sam or Jenny was playing games on the TV in our play room. I had to go out and help her turn the game on at some point though. After doing that, I sat out there kind of hanging with her. In the background I could hear someone arrived. It was my uncle from my dad's side. He was helping my mother renovate our living room a bit and the kitchen. We had pieces of our tile missing from the floor in the kitchen. My uncle and mother put down other random pieces to fill in the spots but it looked really iffy afterwards when Sam and I walked through to go in to the living room. Our living room looked weird. It looked similar to what I have now, but larger and the master bedroom was on the other side of the house instead now. Because it was like, you walked through an arch way in to the master bedroom or an extra room all together with a bathroom on the left side of the room. One where you walk through past the closet then you hit the bathroom.


Afterwards, more people started showing up at my house. Mostly family, even if I didn't know them, I knew they were family somehow. That gut feeling you could say. It felt like someone's birthday or something. I don't know who's, I think it was my grandfather's. Or maybe it was great grandfather? Anyways, we kids were opening presents for him since he didn't really care, until one of us opened a certain present where it was like a peculiar looking dome that told you facts. Like It was the size of both my palms together and was at least 4-5 inches high. Facts rotated around within it, telling us stuff as we watched it, but at some point, it felt like we were supposed to find something. I'm not sure if my grandfather told us something, but at some point we were out of the house and heading towards somewhere. It felt like a moment out of the movie National Treasure.


Heading out, my family and friends either took their own cars or smooshed together in to one. I was with some guy that I knew. It might have been Anthony but I don't remember. We were heading over to my other guy friend, Sweb's house to pick him up or something. When pulling up in his driveway, he was backing out of it with Andrew. Me and the guy waved to him and then backed out after them to start driving towards out destination. We got on a busy road that looked like it was over on the beach not too far from where I live, but there was a bit a difference, since there were more newere shining buildings on the beach side of the road.




That's about all I can remember, because after we got back on the road, I woke up.
This dream has been the most vivid out of the last few dreams I've had. I wonder why?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Day 12: Phineas


Phineas from Phineas and Ferb off the Disney Channel.
Watching the show this morning and thought I would try out a new style after looking up some art by the well-known Bleedman on Deviantart.

[ This character does not belong to me. It belongs to the creator of the show Phineas and Ferb. ]

Friday, November 19, 2010

Dream: School with a dash of Survival.

I had a dream last night, or well not really last night but more today while I slept until the afternoon. My friend called me waking me up which of course when someone just wakes me up from a dream, I remember more of it. Before I forget it, I wanted to type it up.






The dream started off like a test of survival. I was with another person who happened to be a guy in my dream. I'm not sure if he was someone I knew in real life or just made up by my mind. More likely option two. The setting was something like, a gorge? It looked to me like there were no plants to be seen, like it was a wasteland. There was a river flowing below that looked to be only 10-20 feet down. People were trying to figure out how to survive in this wasteland on one side of the river. The guy and I wandered off trying to search for something that would help or we were just trying to see if we could get to the other side. We found a small pass to get to the other side but it didn't look safe. I got half way across and the thing started to crumble underneath me. I ran to the other side which I felt worried that I'd be stuck over there on my own until we went a bit further and found a more stable way across. Even farther than that was part of a rock wall where there were two large boulders blocking the path but there was still a bit where you could walk through. The guy walked on while I stayed behind like he told me. I wasn't sure what to do, I tried going after him then change my mind and ran back.


That's when the scenery changed. I was on a school bus I think? We were heading on a field trip somewhere until we finally got there. When we were inside it was like we were in my house, but it was a little different. Everyone was hanging out in the backyard. I felt much like a loner. Like no one really wanted to hang out with me. Then it just became unusual. It was like a battle between trees? The other students were climbing up in to large tree's. One that was in the back yard of the building we had come to, while the other was in the neighbors next door. This part though while they were all heading to their tree's, I noticed a person that looked familiar. An old crush who I liked for a couple years.
It's been a while since I've seen him in any of my dreams. I wonder why I saw him?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Day 11: Hello


Making up for missing yesterday's drawing. Sorry.
She says Hello.

Day 10: Man Practice


I am horribly horrible HORRIBLE at drawing males. I drew this without a reference. I kind of just....winged it. How'd I do?

And I just realized..... His arm looks like a squids arm. SORRY! Told you I fail miserably.

Pika Hoodie


A pikachu hoodie idea. It's an idea for a present for a friend of mine.
You'll see soon if I ever start drawing it. I don't have too many days to make it. D:

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Day 9: Chained Heart


Oh my gawsh. D:
I can not draw anatomy to save my life. I'm somewhat good at females but what's going to happen when I get to the male body?
I know what, I'm going to fail horribly.
This is what reading too many romance manga's does to you.
So sorry.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day 8: Fiery Passion


A conversation with a friend earlier this evening sparked a drawing like this in to my head. I wish it was a lot better and I'm sorry my drawings the past several days have just been crappy. I'll try to do more detailed pictures in the future!

Dream: Don't go in to the basement!

I had a dream last night, or well, somewhere about 24 hours ago. I'm a little late on writing it down but I just remembered a bit of it not too long ago. I don't know what reminded me. Oh wait, I do. It was the silence in my house. I closed my laptop, the thing that was making the most sound because of the somewhat silent fan going on in it and my typing of course. When I did, it went dead silent in my house. Nothing could be heard, which made me uneasy. So then, the memory of my dream popped in to my head and I thought, "I need to write it down on my blog." And here I am now. Anyways, the dream...




My memory fails but what I can remember is that it was a cloudy day. The sun wasn't shining brightly, so it had to be cloudy. I was with some people. I don't think they were my family or anything, but they were helping me. It was like we were trying to escape something. I'm not sure what. The first place we drove to was the woman said was an underground bunker? What was going to happen? I'm not sure, but something was coming. Next thing I know is we're at their house. A two story house with a basement. It's like something was after us or the children of the family. I can't remember I was there or it was like watching a movie, but someone broke in to the house. Someone came in to the house. A dark figure.
He was after us, or at least he was after the children. We were huddled in the living room. Or at least a couple of us were. The young girl was upstairs in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom door open next and she's with a guy. They're both half naked. I don't know what's going on or what they were doing but her mother started yelling at her.
Next thing I know I'm back in the living room. I had just seen the dark figure in the hallway near the front door and he went running. Someone said he had gone down in the basement. I tried to yell out, "Don't go down there! It's a trap." But the little boy wouldn't listen to me. He headed towards the basement. I remember darkness afterwards, then I woke up.
I'm not sure what the dream meant but I think it might have had something to do with the fact my dad was watching a horror movie at the time in the living room and I could hear. It was something on AMC I believe. I don't want to know what he was watching because I think it caused my dream.




Who was that dark figure anyways?

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day 7: Play Me a Song


Just got done watching the movie Only Yesterday. Listening to the ending song made me want to draw something with someone playing an instrument. I'm also at the moment listening to Studio Ghibli songs played in Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, and others. It's quite soothing and relaxing.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Day 6: Burning In To Your Soul [Part 1]


Been watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies lately. Terminator obviously being one of them. Thanks to my friend, I was able to watch the second Terminator or at least half of it. I'm still working on the other half. Maybe I'll watch it as I try and complete this drawing.


I'm not sure if this drawing will be finished by the end of the day on Sunday or I shall just mark it as a two day drawing, but I want to finish it at some point. I didn't think my shading job would look all that good in the eye itself. It came out well and I can't wait to do the other eye. Wish me luck on this drawing.
Hope you guys like Terminator. ;D






[Link to original picture found on Google.]

The Cat Who Sniffed Glue by Lilian Jackson Braun

My preference of books to read would have to range from Mystery to Science Fiction. Most others I'm not too fond of but I will read if it highly interests me. And when I mean highly, I do mean HIGHLY. I'm quite picky with books. The first book I read from start to finish that I rather enjoyed was The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King. When reading it, it was like it took me off to another world. The world inside the book itself. Like I was a small bug or spirit following the young girl lost in the woods around. When the book was able to make me feel like that, that was when I knew I really liked it.


It wasn't until I got in to high school where I started to read more books like The Cat Who series by Lilian Jackson Braun. I'm sorry I'm not starting on the first book of the series but the one I just recently finished. Anyways, enough of my rambling. Here's my outlook on the book itself, or well more, what the book's about really.




The book starts of slow with the main character Qwilleran going about his every day life like usual. Talking to Francesca, Captain Brodie (The police chief)'s daughter about interior design being done in his apartment and also attending theater practices weekly for an upcoming play. One evening though, a young couple were murdered in their home, shot to death.
Qwilleran, being the detective he is just had to get out there and investigate. After some time and investigating though, the police after certain circumstances (which I don't want to spoil) put the case to rest because they BELIEVED they caught the killer(s). Qwill on the other hand didn't think they did and that the killer was still out there at large.


Through the story there were times I was yelling in my mind thinking, "THAT CAN'T BE HAPPENING!". Qwilleran happens to get in an accident, but was it really an accident or was someone out to get him? But with him in the accident were his two feline friends, Yum Yum and KoKo. Did they make it? What happened to them?


You'll just have to read the book yourself and find out.
I do like this series by Lilian Jackson Braun. I've been reading these books for over a couple years now and I just can't put them down. I may end up reading something else but I always come back to these books since I know I need to finish them. It helps though if you read them in order, then you're not like, "Wait, when did that happen??"

Day 5: Ignite The Light



"You just gotta ignite the light,
And let it shine.
Just own the night,
like the Fourth of July."



Firework by Katy Perry.



When I first heard this song, it made me feel all tingly inside and I just wanted to listen to it over and over again like I do with other songs. I didn't, thankfully. Though now I am, sadly. It's a good song, so I wanted to draw something relating to it. It's such a pathetic and horrible drawing, I'm sorry. But it's all I could come up with in such a short amount of time since the day has already passed and gone by.

I was busy watching movies like Astro Boy and Terminator 2: Judgement Day earlier that I didn't draw my drawing of the day. I'm really sorry.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Day 4: Hello Mr. Kitty


OMG, when it comes to drawing non-chibi, I horribly fail.
What is up with that?
Actually, never mind. I fail at drawing just regular people.
That's what I'll have to practice the next couple days.

Anyways, this is yet again Lily.... I think.
She's blushing over Mr. Kitty. Maybe he's hitting on her?
Haha.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day 3: Don't be shy...


Lily once again. This time in purple. I didn't have time to erase some of the skeleton lines but I still wanted to post it. Don't want to be missing a day, even if it's the third day.
She's shopping? Talking to a boooyyyyy?? Something's got to be making her shy.

The Wolf Totem

All thanks to Humon's Totem Animal drawing, I've been wondering what my totem might be.


I tried to do what Humon said in her journal, but I just couldn't get that relaxed state of mind and venture on my spirit walk. Things in my house kept bothering me or my mind just wasn't at complete relaxation. So in my attempt to find my totem animal, I tried looking online for a solution. Coming up with ways to relax, ways to journey on my spirit walk, and then of course those quizzes asking, "What's your totem animal?"
In desperation, I tried doing one of those so called quizzes. This one seemed not too bad. It only had four answers you could choose from and 19 questions, bu what the heck? Why not try it? So I did.
My results were something like,
53% Wolf
21% Deer
16% Eagle
11% Bear


I was like, "Alright. Not bad." Though it felt wrong, considering I'm not going on the usual spiritual walk to find my animal totem. I'm relying on the internet and their wacky quizzes to find it instead. I at least went around online trying to look up what the wolf symbolizes. On my quest to find information, I remembered something.


When I was young, like many other kids, I had imaginary friends. My cousin claimed she saw unicorns which was like her imaginary friends, while I saw wolves or a wolf to be particular. I can't remember if this was before or after I had seen the movie Balto, but I had always imagined wolves. Up until I was in junior high school. Even though I usually tell people I'm not much of a dog person and that I love cats, I've always adored wolves. They're just a creater I've looked up to since I was small. Strong, fierce, and just have a way of peering in to my soul.
While thinking of my totem animal, I thought, "Maybe a wolf COULD BE my totem animal." I just had to make sure and find out what a wolf really signifies.


This is what I've found out....so far....


The Wolf


The wolf is a great teacher, helping you to find the answers within yourself and help to develop your intuition. It is the representative of deep faith and profound understanding. Possessing high intellect, it has been observed using strategies about hunting, habitat and migration.
These creatures are swift, cunning, and powerful. They are said to have special relationships with his two-legged brothers and sisters. Also having human qualities like us, wolves are loving, loyal, and care about friendship.




I believe these animals just like any other are able to feel just what we feel. Love, happiness, sadness, pain, and any other emotion. If my totem animal really IS a wolf, I would love that just because I believe wolves are such strong, courageous animals that have another side that's compassionate. I would be proud to have a totem animal like this. First, I have to go on a spiritual walk, if I'm able to one day. Just to really find out what my totem animal is.




If any of you have gone on that spiritual walk and know what your totem animal is, please leave a comment saying what yours is. I'd like to hear what it is and what it symbolizes. C:

30 Seconds To Mars




A couple songs by the band 30 Seconds to Mars.
The first is called Closer to The Edge. I just heard it today and I already love it.
The second is Kings and Queens. This one I heard for the first time a while ago and I've loved it ever since.
I try not to listen to it TOO many times so I don't kill myself with it. I want to be able to savor the song for as long as I can like I have with a few other songs I've known since I was little.
When I listen to Kings and Queens, the feeling is as if I want to fly. Or as the video shows, ride my bike? It just has somewhat of an uplifting beat to left, where I just want to get up and face the world with everything I've got. Even when I fall down, I just need to get back up and try harder than I did before.

For Closer to The Edge, I'm not exactly sure what feeling I get from that. Considering I've only listened to it once on the TV. Even then I wasn't fully paying attention so I just had to look the video up after it had ended. After posting it on Facebook, I thought, "Hey, why not post it to the blog as well?"
And so here I am now, showing you people what I like in the music department.
This song, Closer to The Edge by 30 Seconds to Mars, I'm listening to it again and trying to get a feel for the song. It makes me want to not regret anything. What happens, happens. We can't help what life throws at us. We just have to deal with it and push through it. Yeah, you can complain of course, but that isn't going to help. What's happening to you or anyone in the world is happening and we can't help it. We can only put up against us. What happens to us just makes us stronger, right?


There you have it, a few songs chosen by myself for your enjoyment. Hope you like them, if not then that's alright. Just means you're not really in to that type of music. C:

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Day 2: Sleepy Lily



Again, this is Lily.
I wonder if I should come up with the bio for her, so I can put it in the next drawing. C:

All I'd have for now off the top of my head is...

Name: Lily
Height: 5 foot 11 inches
Hair Color: Light purple (Though still deciding)
Eye color: Dark purple
Race: Cat


I'll try to come up with more in the next couple days since for the first couple days of my 365 day project I'll probably be drawing her.
The reason I'm doing this 365 day project is because I think it's good for me and shall keep my art skills up so they don't just fade away in to nothingness and I become lazy.
Plus, I want to make good use of this tablet I have, considering I payed a lot for it.

Gaia Flobs 11/9/2010





Some flobs I did for Gaiaonline. Two are actually of my own avi. The third is of one of my best friend's avi's.
I like how these came out too. C:

Monday, November 8, 2010

Day 1: Meet Lily


This is Lily.
I just came up with her today.
The idea popped in my head actually a while ago or well a couple days ago. To draw OC's depicting my friends.
This is what I'd think my friend would be like if I thought about it.
More self confidence, stronger, etc.
Lily isn't exactly like my best friend. But when I look at her, I think of my best friend.
She might change over time of course. To maybe curlier hair or wavy hair, like my friend's. But I think that would be about it.
I'm still trying to figure out the whole hair thing. D: I'm not good with hair styles, or well, anything for that fact.

11/8/2010




Just started doodling something up in SAI and this is what I came up with.
Just started drawing the female's skin.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Friday, November 5, 2010

Tumblr Switch Over [Edit: OR NOT!]

EditEdit;;

I was going to switch over to Tumblr, but I've decided to keep my old blog.
Since i did start it a couple years back and the name is in memory of my old rabbit I had since I was little. So I can't just give it up it seems.
I'm sorry for worrying anyone. D:


//Slaps self.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I can't even imagine.

We've all seen those movies, TV shoes, and especially on the news almost every day where a young female was attacked in a parking lot, alley way, etc, raped, and then possibly murdered.

Well lately I've been watching those kind of TV shows that have them and I think from the excessive watching of the shows, it has caused me to start thinking about it in the portion of my brain that dreams.
Last night, or more in the day since I kept waking up and going back to sleep, I had a short dream of where I was in class. I couldn't tell if it was something like college or high school class. But it felt more like college class. The class had just ended and everyone was standing around conversing either about today's lesson or other things that were on their minds. I think previous to this moment in the dream, I had been in the class for at least a week or at minimum, a few days. So I was beginning to meet some people, two who of which were kind of cute guys. One was my height while the other taller. They both had a bulky build where they were skinny but their torso and arms were a bit larger than the average male? I'm not really sure how to explain it. The taller guy looked more evened out so he looked more skinnier.
They're hair colors were brown I believe.
All I've said before would be "Hi" or "How're you?" to them before in the class or during breaks. But this evening when the class had ended, the shorter of the two who I had spoken to more pulled me aside and said something relating to they wanted to get to know me. While walking out of the building and in to the parking lot, the guy had his arm around me which right then and there made me feel uncomfortable.

[On a side note and completely unrelated but weird. While in the parking lot and walking towards my car, a van levitated off the ground and spun around several times]

Which at that point when we got to a certain point in the parking lot right behind the large green van, they guy holding me pulled a rugged looking knife out on me. It looked like it had been through a lot, so it wasn't as sharp but still it looked like it had possibly been sharpened recently.
I looked at the blade beneath me, heading towards my chest or neck area and I tried to free myself, defending myself by holding his arm so he does not try to stab me. My fear sky rocketed at that point. While trying to hold the position well as I could, I looked around in fear to see if there were anyone else in the parking lot to help. A car was coming towards us in which it stopped and honked. One of the guys inside yelled out the window the guy who had me's name saying "______, Just let the girl go."
At that moment, since they were just sitting there in their car watching, I thought no one would help me, even others would just pass on by in the parking lot on the other side of the van and do nothing. Either they didn't see us or they were ignoring what was happening in general, as if they did not want to deal with something like this.
I thought my fate was sealed and that I was going to die until a taller young gentleman who seemed skinny but with a nice build threw the two guys (Which technically there was only one guy attacking me while the other watched) off me and through the parking lot. I didn't really catch his face or anything, he walked away soon after it happened to which I was left on the ground backed up to a car rocking back and forth. I was so scared, I was paralyzed. The guys who were thrown stood up and saw I was still there at which they started coming for me again. I could barely speak so my mouth was making small moaning sounds. I was hoping the guy who saved me by chance would come back. And I'm not sure if he did or not because in the midsts of my whimpering and crying and being threatened to death, I woke up.


After I woke up I thought to myself. In my dream I could not defend myself, at all. It made me sick and scared in my heart. I want to be able to defend myself, especially if I get in to danger like that.

Anyways, this was my dream for the night. Sorry my writing is horrible.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

62 Greatest Artists of All Time???

Watched 100 Greatest Artists of All Time on VH1. It lasted so long. All those freakin commercials. It took hours and I only was able to write down 62 of the 100 artists. Sorry about that. I wish I could have gotten all artists but I've only gotten 62. I watched for hours just so I could write all the artists down. So here they are... [Note: Sorry for any misspellings. If there are any, inform me by leaving a comment.]

They were chosen by hundreds of artists, musicians, and music experts themselves.


1. The Beatles
2. Michael Jackson
3. Led Zeppelin
4. The Rolling Stones
5. Bob Dylan
6. Jimmy Hendrix
7. Prince
8. Elvis Presley
9. James Brown
10. Stevie Wonder
11. Bob Marley
12. David Bowie
13. The Who
14. Nirvana
15. The Beach Boys
16. Madonna
17. Queen
18. Pink Floyd
19. U2
20. Marvin Gaye
21. Bruce Springsteen
22. The Clash
23. ACDC
24. The Velvet Underground
25. Chuck Berry
26. Neil Young
27. Aretha Franklin
28. Elton John
29. Radiohead
30. Aerosmith
31. John Lenon
32. Black Sabbath
33. Guns N Roses
34. Tina Turner
35. Johnny Cash
36. Paul McCartney
37. Fleetwood Mac
38. Sly and The Family Stone
39. The Kinks
40. The Police
41. Van Halen
42. Metallica
43. Ray Charles
44. Joni Mitchell
45. The Ramones
46. Al Green
47. Jay-Z
48. Rage Against the Machines
49. Parliament - Funkadelic
50. Sade
51. Billy Joel
52. Beyonce'
53. Little Richard
54. Public Enemy
55. Peter Gabriel
56. KISS
57. Iggy & The Stooges
58. Cheap Trick
59. Tom Petty & The Heart Breakers
60. Whitney Houston
61. Cream
62. Genesis

Quiet Holds Anger

Something popped in to my head about people. You have the people who are loud, not afraid to express themselves while at the same time you have those that are the quiet ones. Those who sit in the corner watching what happens instead of being in the middle of it all. Do the quiet ones really have more anger than those who are outgoing? I understand how it depends on the person. Since you also have those who are outgoing who hide much about themselves.

It was just a question that popped in to my mind considering my family, when ever I go over to a relatives house for BBQ or dinner, they call me the quiet one. Last time I was there, they claimed the quiet ones are possibly the most devious ones. Or the ones who get in the most trouble? I'm not really sure if it's true. I'm quiet and I barely get in trouble, though I sometimes wish I had because I look back on what my life's been like so far. It honestly seems boring. Not all but quite a bit. I just feel like I was too much of a goody two shoes that my life just seems boring. Although I wasn't always good since I complained....A LOT when I was a kid. Especially about what I ate. Kids and their pickyness with food.

Anyways, I wonder what my family would think if I did break out. What would they think if one day I was just not having a good day and I snapped. What if?
It's kind of like my question for the time being until the next pops in my head.

Oh well, just have to wait and see.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Hands On Games W/ Skelly



Just and idea I've had in my head for a while. Sorry it's not all that detailed and just a simple sketch. I hope to do a better more detailed picture sometime in the future on it. C:





More hand drawings. This time I used my own hand. And even a drawing of my DS. Which happens to be red and black. I'm currently playing Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. Awesome game. Though I'm currently stumped with a part of the game I can't get past. But I shall eventually.

Anyways, also in this drawing is a skeleton. Was doing some skeleton drawing just to get the idea of what is inside of us. Maybe it shall help me with proportions? Probably not.

Huggle and Hands



A batch of hands. Thought I might do some hand drawings.
Reference taken from Deviantart.







Just a doodle. Sorry, not much to say about this drawing. :/

Monday, September 27, 2010

Dear Internet,

I really have the urge to write lately, but I just honestly don't know what to write about. Where to write it. Yeah, I have plenty of journals I could write in around my house. One in particular, that's sitting next to my computer on my small desk I'm here at. When I open it and flip through the pages though, my mind gets blank. I WANT to write something, but I just don't know WHAT to write about. My feelings? What are my feelings? My thoughts? What are my thoughts?

What SHOULD I write? I look down at the pages of that journal and my mind just goes blank. It's like I don't want to soil the white clean pages with my dirty words.

What should I do?


Sincerly,
Nellie.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Future.



[Picture taken by Me]




Everyone thinks about the future. Every day of their life. Going over the facts of life, what they've learned so far from school, life experiences, etc. We think so much about the future that it slowly consumes us.

The future. What people constantly go on about. Technology for instance. Something man has been thinking about since the beginning of time. We think and think, racking our brains every day to come up with new ideas to get us beyond what we know as of now. Many years ago if you mentioned something about a cellphone or colored TV, people would look at you weird. But now a days, everyone has at least two in almost every house hold. People of today think that flying cars will exist in the future, but no one can really be sure. It's just what our minds are able to figure out. Someone might come along with the idea to actually produce something as absurd as flying cars. The world holds many mysteries. Anyways, I'm straying from the point. No one knows what the future will be like and neither do I. I question it every day to the point in consumes my thinking process and constantly get no where. The farthest I've gotten is the time I spent thinking how far I'll get in the first place.
When I was a young child, probably around eight years old, I was in elementary school. Yes, I was a little elementary school girl with hardly any worries at all. Back then my imagination was full and also about the same time I started drawing. Of course they were atrocious drawings, but still, something my imagination produced. Though I had a good childhood, there were always dark questions plaguing my mind. Mainly at that time, the big question of "When will I die?" Now, I'm not sure but I haven't met many eight year contemplating so early in life when they are going to die, especially when they have only been on the earth and alive for that short amount of years. Especially compared to elderly folks nowadays living up to be almost 100 years old.

Lately, though I'm almost 19 years old, and I've been on this earth alive just as long, I'm thinking about my future. Where I'm going to end up? How long will I live? Will I have many hardships? More and more. The reason I'm really writing this is, well, there isn't really one, or well there is. I wanted to get it out of my brain but as well I want to tell myself in these typed text on a screen that I need to forget about the future. I need to stop stressing over it anyways, and just start moving forwards. Stop standing still, staring at the sky. Time will continue to move forward whether you like it or not.


Please, live life....

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Movie Mixed w/ Emotions






After so long, I've finally watched the movie Gladator. My parents have told me before to watch it and though we had it on DVD, I never got to watching it. I don't know if it's just because I didn't want to or I just kept forgetting about it. Well, after many years of passing it up, I've FINALLY watched it. It was quite a good movie and made me feel hate, hurt, pain, sadness, disgust, etc. So many things had happened to Maximus. The ending really hit me hard.
At the time I was watching the movie, I was already feeling a bit down from previous events or thoughts in the evening so the movie amplified my feelings and made me feel even worse. If a movie could do that, would you think of it as a good movie? I think so, but that's just my opinion.

I do however advise those who are of the right age to watch this and haven't, to go out and rent, buy, or somehow watch it. They do air the movie on TV every now and then. I watched the beginning on TV several days ago then finally broke out the DVD of it we have and watched it at 2am.

By the way, after watching the movie, I listened to the soundtrack off of youtube and found it....it......well I can't exactly explain it in words.
Here's the ending song of the movie for your listening enjoyment.




-----------------------------------------------

Also, dealing with the emotions part and why I was feeling down while watching the movie. Have you ever had a friend of yours, feel like they're slipping away. Like you're jealous of someone stealing them away but you urge them on to go after that person? It's hard to say but something like that.
Well, lately that's how I've been feeling. It's getting to me but thankfully I have great friends who are there for me and cheer me up. Thank you to them. Sometimes I wonder what I'd do without them.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Dream 8/18/10

This is just copy and pasted directly from notepad where I originally wrote about the dream after I woke up. Sorry if I REALLY can't write. Haha. But here it is anyways.



Had two dreams. One was more a nightmare where I was laying in bed and each time I woke up or something I had bugs. Ants or spider like bugs to specific. I yelled at my parents or I just remember telling them the line "At least you don't have bugs in your bed". They went to check and saw all the bugs which they wrapped my sheets up and ran to the garage where they were going to clean them.


The second part of the dream or after I went back to bed since I woke up earlier this morning around 9am. But anyways, I was walking around a store that looked really familiar. Like I've walked around before in a previous dream. It was in a mall because before I was walking around and there was a celebrity in the mall. I don't know how I got in but I looked out the doors and there was like a mob outside all the doors. I was like, "It's going to get hectic in here soon."
While I was walking around there, I was trying to get through thee racks past a guy with a couple of his sons. The guy FINALLY let me pass but then said, "Son you need a girl like this". He then started following me and was talking about me. I can't really remember what he said but then it went to where the son had went off in the store, I went after him because at that point I think I was dating him. Next thing I know, I make one turn and I'm outside. I found him down a long road or street on a bike. I caught up to him laughing then stopped. I don't know if I talked him in to a race back or something. But I started running. He came after on bike until we got to a point where we were going up and down stairs. Like on a path but it had kid's stuff in it. I was ahead of him most the time until I started tiring out and he went ahead of me. We got to the final and last slide where he waved to our friends at the finish line. I grabbed on to him and hugged him going down the slide. He got up and went over the finish line which I struggled to get up and get over. I think he ended up helping me. He was a cute guy too. I know I heard one of my friends (Jackie I think) say, "That's not fair, they came down the slide together." Haha. It was a good dream I think. C:

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Star Wars Marathon?




Can you guess without looking at the title what movie this picture is from?
If you've guessed Star Wars, then you are correct.

I just finished watching a Star Wars marathon the past couple days. I watched one through four a couple nights ago while I just finished watching the last two tonight. It was nice to watch them again considering I haven't seen any Star Wars movies in years, probably since I was in middle school and that was over four years ago.
I think a reason being why I wanted to watch the movies lately was because of all the talk about the new Star Wars: Old Republic game coming out next year that my friends just can't wait for. One of them showed me the trailer and even live game play shown and taped at the E3 Convention in California. Supposedly it's scheduled to come out next spring, or so my sources say. It DOES cost money to play, just like many other online MMORPG. I would tell you how much but I'm not exactly sure. You would have to look up the Old Republic website to find that out. I'm gravely sorry.

While I was watching the movies, I kept asking questions to one of my friends who is waiting for the game and is kind of a Star Wars Fanatic? You might be able to say? I've probably referred to him in my posts before as Kikun. I'm not obligated to say his real name because I'm not sure if he wants me to just like any of my other friends and family. Therefor I have alternative names for them. I'm grateful to him for answering my questions even if it did spoil some of the story, but at least I had already seen these movies long ago and still partially remember them. I own the first three (the newer ones) but the last three I sadly do not. I watched the 4th episode on youtube but on my big screen TV while my laptop was plugged in to it. The other two I was lucky enough to watch HD on the Spike channel. They aired the older movies in a row. I was going to take them and watch them later but since I had nothing really to do all day, I watched them each in a row, commercials and all sadly.

There was one thing I noticed in the older movies that I have a question about and unfortunately my friend, Kikun, has not been on all day. So therefor I can not ask him, which is why I'm asking here.



In Episode 7, while Luke, Leia, and the others were celebrating becoming part of the Ewok tribe, Luke headed outside on one of the bridges thinking to himself when Leia headed out soon after. She kept asking him what was wrong and a question came up directed towards Leia from Luke. "Do you remember your mother?" She told him she didn't really because she "died when I was young" but she still had some vague memories of her.
Now in the newer movies Episodes 1-3, Padame Amidala had died right after the children were born. So, in the older episodes Padame, Luke and Leia's mother died some time after they were born? And in the newer episodes 1-3, Padame died after giving birth? Hmmmmm..... Poses questions in my mind even more, but at the same time, not really. I think there WERE other questions I had after watching the older movies, but I can't remember any at the time. Maybe they shall come to me later.

Now that my marathon of Star Wars is over, my next MIGHT just be the Lord of the Rings. I haven't seen those in a good couple years and I might just be due for it.
I'm not sure if I might watch it here soon or maybe next year since there's been talk between my friends Michan and Kikun of having a movie marathon somewhere before or after Megacon. We'll just have to wait and see....

Friday, August 13, 2010

I'm not sure anymore...

I'm actually not really sure what to really say on the blog anymore? I have ideas but I'm honestly not sure if they are worthy of the blog. I know this is my blog and I can say what I want to, but still, is it worth it? SHOULD I just put what I want and not care what anyone else has to say?


I just don't know....

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Where Did I Go?




[Picture taken by me of my friend David Waugh, a photographer from Bellingham, WA]



What have I been up to recently? The reason I haven't posted in so long? Well, there are many factors to that. School, sickness, out of the house, and possibly vacation. When was my last post? Other than my laptop post of course. It was....earlier last month. I haven't posted anything in roughly a month and even before then it was a while ago. I'm sorry for not posting continually. Life's just a bitch lately. (Since it's my blog I am allow to curse thank ya very much. ;D )

Anyways, the past several months have been hectic since the end of May I graduated and about four days after the graduation ceremony I immediately left for San Francisco, California. I spent a month and a half total in California with my grandmother mostly but also other family. It was an amazing experience since I'm used to spending only a couple days with certain family members over there. I was able to slowly take my first step out of my small bubble that surrounds me. I take life too seriously in which I don't try things very much. I'm hoping at some point sooner than later that shall all change. I will have emerged from the bubble of solitude and become a different person (one that isn't insane, irritating, and a jerk hopefully). Back to California. I was there for a good month and a half and had many experiences. I literally took pictures every day so by the time I arrived back in Florida I had almost 3,000 pictures. It was quite a sight. I would like to post some here on the blog, eventually. I'd have to grab my external hard drive I stored them all on of course. You didn't think I'd keep them all on the computer right? Psshhh, no, my camera card would be absolutely full if that happened.
I originally hoped I had a laptop before heading out there so I had something to store pictures on since I KNEW I would be taking a massive load but my father was putting off ordering my laptop until last week. It's actually my graduation present ad I love it. I've been using it all day since it arrived at about 9AM.


Anyways, since I seem to be getting distracted from my main point, in a future blog post I shall post pictures and stories behind the pictures, that way you can (somewhat) relive my experiences I had taking them.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

New Laptop








I'm back! For those of you who care of course. What you see above is a new laptop I just recently received. My parents bought it for me as my graduation presents. It's beautiful and I love it.

Maybe now I'll start to post on here more often. But I can't guarantee anything.




Other news, I have an art update.
I created a blog with my friend. It's now become where I post my art if any of you'd like to know that is.


UCB



That's all for now. Hopefully I'll post more often. If not, there's a chance I may just close down the blog, even though I don't really want to.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Cannibalism or Witchcraft?

I had another one of my weird dreams. I wanted to write it down somewhere before I forgot it, so I thought I would right it down here.


I'm forgetting the dream as the day progresses so please, bare with me. I'm not really sure how it started off, but the last thing I remember in it was, we were in our car, though I think it was a convertable, because we were parked near a fence of someone's backyard because they lived on a corner lot. They had a baby goat in the yard. I was able to pet it through the fence, it was cute and everything. Then as we started moving the car, the goat wedged it's way through the fence and after our car where I picked it up and said we had to turn around and go back.
As we got back to the corner, where we were at the corner of the back or technically you really could call it a side yard, my parents and brother were skeptical that anyone was home or wanted the baby deer. I told them that someone's got to be home. So I dared to go up there myself (which it wasn't really a scary house or anything) and knock on the door. A woman came forth through the odd looking door and was delighted to see her baby once again. She insisted I come in but my family was waiting outside in the car so I refused, until she told me to come around to the garage or left side of the house, where I had to wait. As if she was going to get me a reward for saving what she treated like her child.

That's when the dream changed. Like some dreams where they are at one setting and moment in time to another completely different. Mine changed to.... I'm not entirely sure on the setting. It seemed like a school. A somewhat small school but that could have been because I only saw a small portion of it.
This is actually where the title comes in, because what I mean by that statement is that in my dream it's like there was a witch, a weird looking one at that. Her hair stuck up in a not so normal way and her face was painted or was just naturally as white as a ghost. Liked, it seemed like something out of Halloween Town. (If you've ever cared to see that Disney movie, but I doubt it)
Her companion was a tall, somewhat but not overly handsome man who took the lives of young women. Somehow the witch would lour them in and he'd feast on them. It was such a weird dream.
That's all I can really tell for now. But I guess you could say I changed point of views between one character and another. I was both female of course but I switched between two young women. One in danger by the ominous female eating man and another who felt like she was soon to be in danger.
Right before my dad woke me up, I was the young woman who already was in danger. I tried to run through the school, just to barely get anywhere when the woman-eater chased after me, just to stop me at a short flight of stares.
I'm going to go third person if that's alright with any of you...

He trapped her against a wall, telling her he can't hold his hunger any longer [It sounds like a male in dire need of sex, right?]. She came to mind, if she tried to escape anymore he would devour her on site and tear her flesh apart, so she figured she would give him a little, but not there in the middle of the hallway of course, since children were passing by. Though the man growled and scared them off in to their rooms.
She turned to look through a doorway that a man she knew was a powerful sourcerer, could possibly help her. Pushing herself away from the monster, she cried out and ran in to the other room, hoping he'd be able to save her. The sorcerer and his collegue told her to get behind them. While the witch and monster tredged forth...


And that's about where it ends because my father woke me up.
I thought it was a really weird dream, though still not as weird as the rampaging, fire breathing teacher dream. Heh. Not sure if I ever put that one on the blog.
I hope you enjoyed the story, sorry if I really CAN'T WRITE though.

Now to just wait for more dreams to come....
If any of you have dreams, would you like to share them with me? I'd be interested to hear your weirdest dreams. C: